Of Love and Hate
by Lost Legendaerie
Summary: The music couldn't drown out his pain, but it certainly drowned out the street noise. A car skidded to a stop as Neku walked obliviously right out in front of it. "You got a death wish, kid!" In a way, he had. He had lost his will to live. NxSxOC
1. The Pebble Drops

-2nd version- typos fixed-

A/N. -static- This is your authoress speaking. We are now ready to take off on our first WEWY fiction. Please, fasten your seat belts and turn off your cell phones. We will encounter some turbulence in the form of swearing, unreturned love, concerned friends, and close calls with death in its many forms. No flames, please, and enjoy your flight of fancy. -static again-

DISCLAIMER: As if you really have to ask... If I was the owner of Square Enix, would I really be wasting my time on here? Sheesh.

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Chapter One -

The Pebble Drops -

Three friends sat at a table outside of Sunshine Station side in Shibuya, two boys and one girl. The girl looked to be around 12-13 years of age, with short blonde hair and wearing an oversized long sleeve blue shirt, her hands usually hidden except for now as she tugged a black knit cap tighter down on her head. Her just turned 17 year old brother was wearing a plain white shirt and a black stocking cap with a skull on the front, a skateboard tucked under his arm as he chatted casually with the girl. The third was 16, his pumpkin-colored hair spikes contrasting with the black and purple shirt he wore, the huge loose collar hiding his mouth as he lip-synced to the music that poured almost continuously out of his headphones.

"Hey, Phones? " The skateboard holding boy turned to the younger (by 3 months) male. 'Phones' opened one smoky blue eye disinterestedly. "What, Beat? "

The girl pointed to his cell phone laying on the table, vibrating a flashing a message on the screen as it buzzed slightly against the glass tabletop. "Shiki's texting you, Neku. "

Before Beat could so much as blink, Neku had snatched his phone of the table and flicked it open.

'Today's Mission:

Meet me at Mexican Dog. You have 30 minutes. Fail, and face this eraser. '

Attached was a picture of a small pink rectangle with an angry face drawn on it with permanent marker. A smile stole across Neku's face, and he laughed very softly. Typical Shiki.

Beat smirked. "What'd your girlfriend say, Phones? "

"She's not my- oh, fuck it. It's that obvious, huh? " He looked sheepishly over the top of his phone at Rhyme. She nodded. "You'd almost have to TRY to be more blatant. "

"Yet, somehow, Shiki just doesn't get it. " Neku noted somewhat bitterly. "I'll tell her tomorrow. Damn girls. "

"Oh, yo' better not be talking about my sister, Phones. You may be my brother-of-another-mother, but diss my sis and I'll bust a cap in yo' ass! " Beat snapped. (A/N. I really shouldn't try to talk gansta, should I?)

Neku grinned evilly. "Who said I was talking about Rhyme, Beat-ris? (Beatrice) "

Beat mock-lunged at the teenager who quickly jumped up and began jogging in the direction of Spain Hill. "Gonna be late, sorry, talk to you later! "

Rhyme giggled at her brother. "You have to admit, that last comment was pretty sharp. "

"Yeah, but don' tell Phones dat. He'd never let me live it down, " Beat grunted as both watched Neku's orange hair weave through the crowd.

"Fo' sho', " his sister concluded, imitating her brother's way of talking.

...00000000000...

Through the glass wall of the Mexican food place, Neku could see Shiki sitting alone in a booth for two, her back to him and her black hair still, save the occasional swish as she looked around for him. She had grown it out since the Game's end, and it hung in stylish waves just past her shoulders. Mr. Mew was habitually sitting on her lap- Neku could just see his tail laying along the side of one long thin leg.

He forced back down his blush, and walked smoothly into the shop, totally ignoring her as she waved to get his attention in the corner of his eye. Looking entirely bored and casual, he scanned the store, blue gaze sweeping over her without a flicker of emotion evident. He turned his back on her and continued his charade of searching.

Something soft hit the back of his head- a considerable amount of force, but totally painless. Hiding his smirk as best as he could, he came face to face with his secret love. Her hands were on her hips, one of them holding Mr. Mew (who she had hit him with), dark brown eyes sparkling in her bare face.

Wait, bare? No glasses! Damn, she looked good without them, her black hair framing her face set with frustration, so different from the skittish geek she had been a year ago.

Neku cleared his throat. "Oh, there you are, Stalker. "

"Don't make me whip out the Eraser of Doom, Neku. You knew very well it was me as soon as you walked in. YOU- " She poked him boldly in the chest, "ARE A PAIN. "

He laughed. "Whatever you say, Stalker. Just don't sick Piggie on me again. "

"He's a cat, Neku. A CAT. Uggg, I don't know why I even bother with you sometimes! " She threw her hands in the air in mock despair. Neku placated her by catching her wrist and taking her back to her table and sitting across from her.

"All right, you win. What do you want, anyway? " He put on an air of exaggerated patience and checked his wristwatch. "I've got a VERY full schedule. "

"I wanted to show you something. " She tossed her hair out of her face and over her shoulder, looking demurely at Neku as her head tilted from one side to the other, showing off her glass-less face. "Notice anything.. different? "

"You've developed a twitch in your neck and you keep having spasms? "

"Will you knock it off, Neku? " She glared at him. "My neck is just fine, and you damn well know it. Guess again. "

Neku rested his chin in one hand and studied her intently with narrowed eyes. At last he slapped his forehead and leaned back. "Ohh, I get it, Shiki. "

She beamed. "Yep. "

"You lost your glasses again. Honestly, you shouldn't be wandering around town if you can't see. " He could feel her angry gaze burning holes in his chest as he continued, "I swear, I'm going to have to buy you a chain for them like accountants and old people use... "

"NEKU! ARGH! " Shiki huffed and snatched her plushie from the table. "You are such an ass sometimes! I got contacts! GOD! "

Neku caught her arm as she passed by him, fully intent on storming out. "I'm kidding, Shiki. I noticed as soon as I walked in. You look great. "

Calm blue eyes met fiery brown ones for a long moment, and not for the first time Neku wished he could kiss her. But... he just couldn't. He didn't want to loose her just because of his romantic longings. She meant too much to him.

"Would it have killed you to say that to start with? " Shiki muttered as she sat back down, still looking cross.

"How about... yes? " Neku chuckled, crossing his legs under the table and accidently brushing against her. A jolt shot though him, but he covered it by looking quickly away and faking interest in a couple that just walked in.

"That's not all I wanted to tell you, " she crowed, her eyes sparkling. "You'll never guess. "

"I'm dying of anticipation, " he replied, mock-yawning as he wrestled back down another blush. Damn things were happening a lot lately.

"I... " Shiki took a breath dramatically, " officially have a boyfriend. "

...00000000000...

Muahahah, the first chapter is done. Review and tell me what you think! 


	2. The Splash

A/N. Wows! What a lot of reviews!! I love this crowd! It's my first work in this Fandom(?)- do you know how long it took me to get this popular in Pokemon? Scratch that, on Fanfiction! Dang. You spoil me... I love you all!

ANNNNGGGGGSSSSSTTTTTT!!

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Chapter Two

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The Splash

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Many people say that their heart has broken. Often, their heart has merely cracked, giving you pain and sadness for a time but with no lasting effects. Sometimes, your heart does break, leaving you in agony and never quite the same. But sometimes, your heart just shatters; food has no taste, happiness is but a word, and your mind shuts off all emotion for the sake of saving your sanity- for a time. Only for a time.

In that simple little food place, had a Player been scanning, Noise would have suddenly swarmed around the two teenagers in the back, drawn by the sudden flash of agony and shock that left a numb deadness in it's place.

Neku was frozen, it seemed, for what felt like an eternity. At last he managed to reply. "W-what did you say, Shiki? "

_I MUST have misheard her... this can't be happening..._

Shiki fished out her cell phone, flipping it open to display her new background photo of herself and another man with short brown hair and golden eyes. This male had dared to wrap his arms around her neck, thinking himself worthy to breathe the same air she breathed that now choked Neku. "This is my boyfriend, Satoshi. He just asked me out a couple days ago. "

The teenage boy leaned back in his chair, titling his head forward and hiding his eyes behind the spiked merciful curtain of orange hair, closing his eyes tightly as he fought for his composure. "I-I'm glad you're happy, Shiki. I have to go- other things to do, remember? "

Before she could say anything more, Neku had stood up, nodded a quick goodbye, and was swallowed up by the Shibuya crowds in moments.

...00000000000...

Shiki watched him go with shocked brown eyes. _Was it something I said? ...it couldn't be about my boyfriend, could it have been?_

_No. Neku doesn't like me like that. At least... not anymore._

About three months after the Game's end, she had gotten up the courage to ask Neku out. On a date. With her.

_'Shiki shifted her weight from foot to foot as Neku froze, his expression unreadable._

_"I...I can't, Shiki. Not tonight. I'm sorry. " His voice was soft and low, his eyes not meeting hers. For how much it hurt her, though, he may as well have back-handed her across the face._

_"Some other time then? "_

_Neku nodded before continuing on his way home without a second glance at her. '_

The 16 year old hugged Mr. Mew tighter as the river of painful memories grew deeper and broader. His rejection had hurt her so badly, but she resolved to ask him later. But, he had vanished. Dropped of the face of the planet for two whole weeks- didn't answer his cell phone or anything. She though he had gotten killed again, and that Joshua was busy tormenting him in the Game. But, when he finally returned...

_'Rhyme was sipping on her soda when her eyes suddenly grew wide. She gasped, inhaling a huge gulp of soda and pointing at the crosswalk even as she fell to the ground gasping for air._

_Beat quickly was tending to his dear little sis, but Shiki's eyes were only for the small tuft of pumpkin-colored spikes that was just visible in the mass of people._

_"NEKU'S BACK!! "_

_Shiki actually leaped over the fence that surrounded the tables outside the cafe, running as if she had wings on her feet, desperate not to loose the friend she had missed for so long._

_Just as he was stepping onto the sidewalk, she half-tackled him in a huge hug, so thankful so see him again alive. Oh, how she had missed those smoky blue eyes, that air of indifference that she knew concealed a heart of gold- she had even missed those headphones that he never took off!_

_"Where were you, Neku? We were all so worried about- "_

_He pushed her away suddenly, blue eyes blazing with emotion. "Worried? Right. Why should any of you care about me?! " He snapped suddenly, Shiki taking an involuntary step back._

_"You're our friend, Neku. What we went through in the Reaper's Game- "_

_"-Doesn't matter, " he finished, his tone raw and icy. "People change, Shiki. You should know that by now. "_

_She grabbed his shoulder as he tried to walk off. "I know they do, Neku. And you changed back. What happened to you? " Her voice half broke at the end as he tore roughly out of her grasp and vanished into the crowd. '_

A couple day later, he called her and tried to apologize, but she had just told him to forget it. They barely talked for almost a month, at last Rhyme and Beat forcing them to patch things up again.

Sure, they were friends again. But it would just never be the same.

Shiki ran her thin fingers through her hair and sighed. Neku was in the past now- she needed to concentrate on the future. Her future with Satoshi.

...00000000000...

_Just hang on until home, hang on until home, hang on until home..._ Neku repeated the phrase in his mind to the rhythm of his focused but unsteady strides and the music that poured out of his headphones. His breath was ragged, seeming to scrape his that and leave his insides feeling raw.

Fog seeped through his mind, blurring his vision and lessening his grip on reality. Twice he almost ran into people, dodging at the last moment, eyes to the ground but unseeing as thoughts of Shiki looped endlessly in his head.

Key moments of their relationship replaying over and over. One ending only for another to take it's place: Their first fateful meeting, first battle... everything right up to what happened just a few minutes ago. And he couldn't stop it.

He wondered detachedly whether this was some form of mental punishment. Strange how you think of the perfect way to fix a bad situation moments after it was too late. If only he could rewind time-! If only he hadn't taken out his rage and fear out on her when she had so warmly welcomed him back from the nightmare he had been stuck in for two terrible weeks.

_If only, if only_, he thought grimly, kicking up his music volume a notch. _My whole fucking life is filled with 'if only's._

The music couldn't drown out his pain, but it certainly drowned out the street noise. A car skidded to a stop as Neku walked obliviously right out in front of it.

The driver rolled down the window to shout at the teenager. "You got a death wish, kid?!" he snapped before roaring off again.

Neku didn't reply, just shoved his hands deeper in his pockets and continued on his way. Death wish? In a way, he had. He had lost his will to live. And her name was Shiki.

...00000000000...

ANNNNGGGGGSSSSSTTTTTT!!


	3. Ripples

A/N

A/N. Yes, I rant on here at the beginning of every chapter. Sorr-ee. Oh yeah, to the anonymous reviewer, thanks for the 'gansta speak' fix. I still like 'brother from another mother' better, though. More fun to say. Not that I'll EVER be saying that in real life, though... I might end up shot. LOL I'm so not cool.

Sorry for the wait- changed plot right before this was posted, so I had to rewrite it. ALL of it. And.. this is an apology for doing a one-shot instead of updating one of my in-progs.

I have a tendency to create more questions then I answer.. ah well. It makes the big REVEAL all the more fun, no?

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Chapter Three

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Ripples

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Beat and Rhyme heard the screech of tires. Both hurried over to the street not so far away, getting there just to see Neku vanish around a corner. Rhyme followed him at a run, Beat forced to follow and causing the driver to slam on his brakes once more.

"Damn kids!! "

The blonde girl grabbed Neku's shoulders, her tone shocked and worried. "Neku, are you- "

He whipped around to face them both, blue/grey eyes searing with rage, pain, love, desperation, sadness. No verbal response was necessary; he was not all right.

"What happened? "

"Ask HER, " Neku choked out, teetering dangerously on the brink of a breakdown. "I just- just- I have to get home- "

Rhyme was about to question him more, but Beat silenced her with a look. "Call us when you can talk about it, ok? Promise me you won't do anything stupid? "

Trembling, Neku closed his eyes and nodded before fairly sprinting home.

...00000000000...

Quickly, he slammed the door behind him, leaning heavily against it as his shoulders trembled- a physical manifestation of the stress and agony that tore his sanity to shreds. Impulsively, he yanked off his headphones, tossing them aside as he raked his fingers though his hair and tried to even out his breathing.

_I...I can't take this... not again. Why..?_

His smoky blue eyes burned behind his closed lids as he gritted his teeth. _Why why why why WHY??_

_It's my fault...it's always been my fault. I make everyone miserable. My parents... I killed them and I drove the rest of them off. I almost got myself and Shiki killed back in the game... if only I'd never gotten involved with her. I could have lost the game... and I wouldn't have to feel like this anymore_.

Neku stumbled to his feet, heading to the kitchen for a drink in the hopes it would calm him.

_She's my whole reason for living, my inspiration to be better than I am. She... deserves to be happy with someone... even- especially- not me. I broke her heart once... I'm be damned if I let it happen again!_

Downing the last few drops of water, his eyes caught sight of a note from his latest guardian.

_Neku-_

_Be back in a day or two. Emergency came up. Call me if you need anything._

_--Kasume_

The corner of his mouth quirked up in a humorless smile. _That's what the last ones said... no big deal. I won't look for them THIS time. I'm better off alone, anyway._

Forcing down his pain and shutting off his emotions, he collapsed onto the couch and turned on the TV, watching the screen with eyes that had just turned a little less blue.

...00000--A couple days later--000000...

Brother and sister sat side by side on a bench in Shibuya, people watching contentedly. That was, they were content until they caught sight of orange hair.

As usual of late, Neku was walking in the opposite direction of the crowds, just visible at best, other time disappearing like the ghost he had become. He had changed so much...

"Poor Neku, " Rhyme breathed as both lost sight of him. "Do you think he'll ever change back? I'm scared for this Neku... he's not who he used to be. "

"Not much we can do," Beat stated, oddly serious. "Satoshi changed a lot of things. "

"Yeah... "

"Oh? Do we not like this Satoshi? " A familiar voice spoke over their shoulders...

...00000000000...

Life was pretty good for 'this Satoshi', currently at least. This seamstress chick was nice enough... even so, he could hardly wait to get his hands on the real prize- Eri.

Shiki was plain, boring, worthless to him except to get closer to Eri. That redhead.. she was really a cut above the rest. Until then, though...

"Why do you still carry that thing around? " He pointed to the plushie sticking out of her purse. Shiki smiled faintly. "Oh, Mr. Mew? I don't know... I just.. used to carry him around a lot. It's a force of habit, I guess. "

He shrugged airily. "Toss it. "

"What? "

"Just throw it away- it's old and dirty and looks pretty beat up. "

Shiki looked down at the little black plushie, guilt and unease gnawing at her. "But- "

"It's so juvenile, Shiki. It's not you. " Satoshi noted, lying between his teeth. With one last glance, she pulled Mr. Mew out of her purse and tossed it lightly in a dumpster.

"There. Feel better now? "

No, she though quietly, but smiled outwardly. "Yeah. Thanks for that, Satoshi. "

...00000000000...

_Crap crap CRAP! Why would I do something so stupid like this!_

Shiki was running though the rain a couple hours later, back to where she had been walking with Satoshi earlier. _Why did I listen to him! Mr. Mew saved my life so many times in the Game... how could I do this to him? Crap!_

She fairly leaped in the bin, digging through the rubbage with a stick as rainwater poured down the back of his shirt.

"Looking for something? "

Neku's features were cast in an eerie glow by the faint moonlight filtering through the clouds, grey-blue eyes seeming to glow. He stepped away from the wall, a familiar black cat-pig-thing tucked under his arm.

"Mr. Mew-! "

"Piggie was missing you, I think, " he said- his words cheerful but tone cool and quiet. Shiki caught the plushie as he tossed it to her, grateful to hug him again and stuff him back in her purse.

"What were you doing out here? " She touched his arm, and he jerked away but not before his friend had felt the icy temperature. "Waiting for you. I was surprised to see you sell yourself out so quickly like that- "

"I did no such thing! " she snapped, brown eyes blazing with defensive anger. His eyes were so like a concrete wall- unfeeling, hard, and almost colorless. "I just- "

"Are you happy, Shiki? "

"Of course I am, " she replied quickly, looking away and sniffing slightly. "Satoshi is a really nice guy. "

That got a reaction from Neku- he turned away from her abruptly, and his head tiled forward- she knew it meant he was upset and trying to compose himself. She shifted uncomfortably, the rain cooling down her temper slightly.

"Does he make you laugh? " he asked at last, still turned away from her.

"He doesn't make me cry, " she replied with a touch of bitterness in her voice. His rejection of her still hurt.

With that, she turned away and ran back the way she had come, Neku's grey eyes following her progress until the night hid her from his view. Then he walked home as well, hands in his pockets and more than one kind of wetness running down his cheeks.

...00000000000...

...bang.


	4. Sinking

A/N. This chapter contains some minor violent/gruesome content.

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Chapter Four

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Sinking

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"...just leave him to me. You guys take care of Shiki's part... I've got the rest. " The mysterious figure gave a particularly evil snicker before melting back into the shadows.

"He still gets under my skin, " Beat muttered. His sister figeted slightly. "I know, Beat. But we've got to talk to Shiki... for everyone's sake. There she is. "

Decisively Rhyme headed off in the direction of the black-haired girl sitting by herself, for once being the one to leave her sibling in the dust.

"Bwwwaaah? Wait up, Rhyme! "

Shiki looked up from picking half-heartedly at her ramen to see her friends marching over and looking serious. "Hey, guys, whats- "

"Stop this, " Beat stated bluntly.

"Wha- "

Rhyme took over. "Shiki... you need to stop lying to yourself and just think. Are you really happy with Satoshi? "

"Yes. He's a great guy. You just need to see that. " Shiki protested.

"Shiki... anyone can see that you're not happy. " The girl's blue eyes were sad and sympathetic. "Satoshi...is... "

"A bastard. " Beat snorted. "You know he's just using you to get to Eri. "

Rhyme shot her brother a frustrated look as Shiki blinked. _I should be shocked.. or at least sad... I'm not, though... I guess...I knew all along._

"I just... wanted a boyfriend so badly. "

"...I think you wanted a particular someone to be your boyfriend, " Rhyme said carefully. Beat cut off Shiki's excuse with, "Did yo' really forget you was his entry fee last year? "

Shiki blinked again. "That was last year. Things change, people change- "

"But love remains the same, " Rhyme finished. "Go find Satoshi and tell him it's over, then for goodness' sakes find Neku and tell him everything before he does something. "

"But- "

"Go, Shiki! " Beat waved irritably at her. "You have 160 minutes. Fail and face... um... " Beat paused, letting Rhyme finish for him. "Face regret for the rest of your life! GO, SHIKI!! "

...00000000000...

Melancholy music poured through the headphones, dirge-like beat matching his footsteps as he wandered around Shibuya, looking for anything to distract him from his pain. Neku's hard grey gaze swept across the crowds, searching...

Something stopped him in his tracks. It wasn't a voice he quite recognized, nor words he could make out.. it was more of a sensation that led him to turn down his music volume and listen, slipping into an alley out of sight.

"...isn't working between us, Satoshi. I'm so sorry if I've been leading you on... I've been trying to make it work. " The feminine tone froze him in place, simultaneously stopping his heart dead and causing it to beat dangerously fast. It was HER.

"But... Shiki... " Neku could make out the note of desperation in the boy's tone, but not desperation from a painful rejection… more like from a treasured plan going awry.

"I have to go, Satoshi... " He could hear Shiki's shoes softly tapping the pavement... and one more sound that made him sick with fear.

The cocking of a gun.

Neku didn't have time to think, and barely enough time to react. He threw himself out of his hiding place, outstretched arms pushing Shiki's delicate body out of the way.

BANG.

The first bullet tore a furrow through the skin on the back of his neck- missing anything vital but ripping open veins and flesh. Pain flashed through him, taking his breath partly away as blood started to flow.

BANG.

This time it smashed into his upper arm, the impact sending an almost numbing ripple through the bone. He felt his arm shatter, his vocal chords letting out an instinctive but silent scream.

BANG BANG BANG.

The last three shots truly numbed him, truly took his breath away as they buried themselves deep into his side, smashing though his ribs to lodge somewhere deep in him. Darkness sucked at his limps, mercifully painless but terrifyingly cold. Detachedly, he though he heard Shiki scream his name, felt her tears fall upon his colorless cheeks, her arms wrap around his bleeding frame. He wanted so bad to move, or at least breathe. But... he was sinking, sliding inexorably away.

...00000000000...

Satoshi was fleeing as fast as he could, sickness filling his stomach_. I... I'm not a killer... I can't be... I just wanted to scare her... I never-_

Someone grabbed his shoulder, thin fingers gripping like iron as the brown haired boy was slammed brutally into the wall and stared down the barrel of his own gun.

The gloved finger toyed with the trigger as falsely warm violet eyes met his. "Sorry, Satoshi boy. There's only room for one backstabbing son of a bitch in Shibuya, and that's me. Say hi to all the fallen Players for me, will you? " The mother of all heartless smirks graced Satoshi's captor's lips, and the ex-boyfriend gasped one last excuse.

"I didn't- "

BANG!!

...00000000000...

With every beat of his broken heart, Neku felt more of his life leave him cold and empty feeling. Even so, he clung desperately on, determined to just take the next breath, and the next, and the next. But willpower alone cannot heal a fatal wound.

_So cold...God, I don't want to die...Not again... _

_Why did it take death to make me feel so alive? The Game...in the end, I'm a better person for it...With out it, there would be no Rhyme, no Beat...No Shiki..._

_They won't be where I'm going, anyway..._

_I don't want it to end like this.. not like this... at least let...me say goodbye...please?_

_...p...l..e...a...s..e..._

...00000000000...


	5. Rock Bottom

A/N

A/N. Rah. Angst and a whole mass of text.

Special thanks to Saving Shard by Maia's Pen in the inspiration/angst department- and to all my special reviewers who helped me and um... yeah. I used up all my 'noble' and 'epic' in the chapter. Sorry. I love you all, though.

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Chapter Five

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Rock Bottom

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What does it mean to die? Is it like a sudden vacuum, draining all feeling from you and leaving a simple husk- your body- behind? Or is it a sudden miasma of pain, regret, fear, rage against the inevitably of your situation? Somehow, it is both.

Shiki felt him go- muscles relax followed by a shaky but deep sigh. That was it. His body had given up the fight for life. For a moment, she felt her heart stop as well. His skin was pale, his features still and limp like overcooked pasta. What was worse, she felt his soul leave- for his heart was part of hers, and would forever be. But, this part was leaving, and would not be returned to her again unless, somehow, death itself could be cheated.

In a way, she was gone, too, by the time the ambulance arrived and took Neku away, crash cart at the ready to try to save the brave young soul. Bystanders and gawkers alike for once kept a respectful silence as the red and white vehicles drove away.

Rhyme and Beat were quickly by Shiki's side, comforting words soothing her like ice on a broken bone- it helps but does not heal. She was feeling a very similar agony that Neku had felt not a week ago; like her very heart and life force had been stolen from her. All by Satoshi.

Some may have said Neku was the stronger of the two- he forced his emotions down and refused to cry, held his ground and tried to save himself. Other say Shiki was stronger- she let herself mourn, a tidal wave of tears and emotions, depended on her friends to save her.

Neku's face stayed still... and Shiki wept.

...00000000000...

A breathless scream seared Neku's throat like icy fire- fury and pain made audible as his consciousness swam and sunk, like drowning in mud. His realization, his life changing epiphany, had come both moments too late and moments too early. Instead of satisfaction that would have born of his ignorance, or a burning ambition for survival, he could only taste bitter regret.

He was falling, mind stuck in an endless loop once more, but of a different line of thought than before.

_WHY?? Why do I always learn my lesson moments too late, say the right thing too late... I am always too late!! Too late! Too late! TOO LATE!_

Insanity crept into his mind like a starving dog, looking for it's opportunity to steal, to injure and maim what was left of Neku. _This kind of thinking will do me in_, he realized bitterly. Despertly, he diverted his mind into a more solid line of thoughts.

Memories.

...00000000000...

He was 7 years old, just a couple months until his eighth birthday. His mother, her soft green eyes almost glowing, was combing his hair in his room when his father burst in. He smelled sharp and diseased, like a deadly chemical. He had been drinking again.

"Damn whore, whereve you been? " His blue eyes spat fire, though dulled by the booze; his words slurred and seeming to drip from his mouth like poisonous sludge. Hastily, Celia tried to usher her son out of the room, but Shiruto would have none of it. "Don't you try to run outof here with that spawn. "

Celia was shoved roughly out of the way, frail frame smacking the far wall and knocking the breath out of her. In two long steps, the drunkard had grabbed his son by the shirt collar, bringing him close to his face- behind a mass of black hair, his bitter blue glare piercing, stabbing at Neku with their hatred.

"You... you are NOT my son. " Here he grabbed a hunk of the just-brushed ginger hair, wrenching it cruelly as Celia watched on in horror, " My son wouldn't look like this!! "

Neku, too, was slammed to the floor; recovering quickly, he fled through the open door as Shiruto lunged for him. The cruel hands grabbed at thin air, then Neku was gone, hiding in the closet as he gasped for air, trembling with pain, fear, and helpless rage.

He could still hear them upstairs, his mother's desperate but brave voice, and his father's drunken roars. Then there was a sudden crash, a cry of "Mercy" from Celia, and a tremendous, terrible sound.

Neku's young mind remembered one time, when he had seen a group of teenagers carry a melon up to the second floor of the apartment across from his, then drop it and watch it smash on the pavement. This sound was similar... a juicy, explosive crunch. But there were no melons upstairs.

Silence reigned for a few moments- Neku's curiosity overcoming his fear. Opening the door a touch, he was met with resistance on the other side. His mother was propped against it, green eyes dimming over. The dark crimson of her hair was leaking onto her forehead and the wall behind her. He touched it, feeling the sticky warmth and taking his hand quickly away.

Shiruto was standing a few feet away, holding something small and metal. He, too, was splattered with Celia's crimson hair, a grim smile on his face as the barrel of the silenced gun was pressed against the side of his head.

"This is your fault, Neku. All... your fault. "

The seven year old boy wandered down the stairs. Silently he pulled a juice box from the fridge, placing over his ears the headphones he had just gotten the week before. The music in his ears blotted out the second sound.

Neku was now an orphan.

...xxxxxxxxxxx...

For the next few years, Neku bounced around in various foster homes around Shibuya, never staying in once pace for very long. His indifferent and generally abrasive nature left him often to his own devices, and alone in a crowded city. His currant guardian, a businessman in his early 40s, had put up with him for quite some time. You could almost say they got along.

"You sure you'll be fine here by yourself? " Masaki paused in the doorway, suitcases in hand as he prepared to leave for the United States. Neku knew he didn't actually CARE- he had only been adopted for tax benefits. Still... it was nice to be in an actual home for a time, especially after the Game.

"...yes. " He replied- not because Masaki cared, not because Neku cared. Because deep down, he was beginning to warm up to Masaki. Being one's father figure for 3 years- how ever seldom due to business trips- did something to the orange-haired reject. Being around friends did something to him.

"Be back in a week! "

The almost-sixteen year old old waved his hand once in a half-hearted goodbye, slipping his headphones back on and slumping agianst the back of the couch as Masaki left.

Two weeks later, the teenager was getting a little edgy. He had not left the house for two days (thank goodness for the weekend) hoping to get a phone call- any news at all. But, nothing.

At last, when forced to go back in school, the last thing Neku wanted to do was socialize. So, when Shiki had asked him out...

He froze, blue eyes expressionless, hiding the turmoil inside. _All I've ever wanted was to be with her... But I can't. Not just yet._

"I...I can't, Shiki. Not tonight. I'm sorry. " His voice was soft and low, his eyes not meeting hers. He felt like he was tearing his soul in two- if she asked him again, he wouldn't be able to say no.

She was quiet for a moment. "Some other time then? "

Neku nodded before continuing on his way home, refusing to look back at her again. _Some other time..._

Tossing his bags in the corner, Neku halfheartedly checked the messages on the phone's answering machine.

_'Hey, Neku. It's Masaki. Sorry I haven't checked back with you or anything- some important business stuff came up and I've got to stay for another month for so. My sister's coming by this week to take care of you, ok? See you later_. '

She never came. No one ever came, and Neku decided to track Masaki down. Skipping school, he took a bus to the airport, asking every attendant and staff when Masaki Harubito would be coming back to Japan.

"I'm sorry... no one with that name has bought any airline tickets for the last 6 months. "

"You're absolutely certain? "

"Yes. I'm sorry, sir. " The brown haired woman sighed sadly. "Anything else I can help with? "

"...no, thanks anyway. "

For the next week or so, Neku traveled to every port, every airport, every possible place he could find out anything about Masaki. But, there was nothing. He had abandoned the teenager, and Neku was all alone again.

Exhausted and broken-hearted, all he wanted to do was get home and lock the door on the world until he was hauled away from Shibuya by the foster care system again. But it was not to be.

"NEKU'S BACK!! "

Shiki's overjoyed cry cut through his though like a tidal wave of icy water-refreshing, but not as welcome as usual.

Just as he was stepping onto the sidewalk, she half-tackled him in a huge hug, not noticing him stiffen under her touch. You can't trust anyone anymore.

"Where were you, Neku? We were all so worried about- "

He pushed her away suddenly, blue eyes blazing with emotion. "Worried? Right. Why should any of you care about me?! " He snapped suddenly, Shiki taking an involuntary step back. Her brown eyes, so soft and affectionate, now seemed to burn him with their intensity. Now he doubted how she felt about him, whether this was all just an act and if she, too, was going to leave him.

"You're our friend, Neku. What we went through in the Reaper's Game- "

"-Doesn't matter, " he finished, his tone raw and icy. "People change, Shiki. You should know that by now. " He would rather push her away and break his own heart then risk her shattering his. _I can't trust her anymore..._

She grabbed his shoulder as he tried to walk off. "I know they do, Neku. And you changed back. What happened to you? " Her voice half broke at the end as he tore roughly out of her grasp and vanished into the crowd. _All I want is to be left alone right now. Why couldn't she understand that?_

...00000000000...

_So many memories... so many mistakes... I wasted my second change at live... I don't suppose I'll get a third. Goodbye Shibuya, music, Rhyme, Beat, life..._

_Goodbye, Shiki._

...00000000000...


	6. Rescue

A/N

A/N. Six is supposed to be an unlucky number... rawr. I plan to do a little epilogue thing... other that that, THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER. Finally.

I haven't finished my Game yet... so sorry if this doesn't match up with the big reveal at the end or something... if you feel the need to correct me, at least try to do it with minimal spoilers.

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Chapter Six

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Rescue

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A green and black tornado tore down the hallway of the hospital, long thin legs propelling her forward with the speed that only desperation could offer. Somehow, she felt that if she didn't get there in time, Neku would die. After all, the paramedics said he was technically dead for over a minute. That had been one of the worst few minutes of her life... all she wanted to do was collapse in his arms and tell him she loved him.

Her body had other ideas, however. The stress of the day had taken its toll on her stamina, and Shiki was instead forced to lean against a wall to regain her breath. Realization and recognition of the faint voices on the other side flickered through her dulled senses.

"...t' see you still breathin', yo. " Beat's accent was unmistakable. Rhyme's soft melodic voice followed. "Nothing would have been the same without you. How DID you survive, anyway? "

Neku gave a weak chuckle that sent Shiki's heart racing again. "I got a little help. "

...xxxxxxxxxxx...

Neku's fall came to a sudden and very unexpected stop as he landed on something warm and slightly soft. His eyes opened- white light blasted across his vision.

_Am I in... heaven? _

The 'ground' beneath him moved and spoke after a moment; a voice that was far, far too familiar. "It's raining men! Hee hee... "

"Crap. Hell it is. "

Neku rolled to the side and let Joshua get up. The silver-haired teenager was smirking (as usual) and looking exceptionally creepy. Of course, this was helped by the fact that there was a fine spattering of blood across his shirt and face, and his violet eyes were looking a little more evil than usual.

"I'm insulted, Neku. Aren't you glad to see me? " The Composer's voice was deadly sweet, like poisoned honey.

"Why did you BRING me here? I'm not in the mood for your games! " Neku's voice almost broke at the end.

"Good, because I'm not here to talk games. _You're_ here because Heaven didn't want you, and Hell spat you back out. _I'm_ here because you shouldn't be. You are SUPPOSED to be alive right now. But you just had to be a hero... again. " Joshua shook his head. "Satoshi wasn't going to hurt Shiki, just try to. Then I was going to kill him, you and Shiki would get back together, and everyone wins! "

Here he chuckled. "Except Satoshi. "

He sobered up again. "Heroes never win, Neku. They sacrifice. So you sacrificed your life just to LOOK like a hero when I had everything under control. I told you I was going to jack Shibuya... that doesn't limit me to the UG, you know. "

"So... that's it then. I'm done. Stuck in limbo for all eternity. " Neku closed his eyes, panic of inevitability threatening to rob him of sense.

"Not quite. "

...xxxxxxxxxxx...

"So... the insane sadist jus' sent you back? Jus' like that? Nothin' else? Dude...He so has something else planned. " Beat was scowling with thought. Rhyme smiled slightly. "Well, I'm just thankful he saved your life. "

"Yeah... and I plan to really live this one. " Neku paused, ruminating. His thoughts were quickly brought to an end at the sigh of a raven-haired girl standing in the doorway, brown eyes large and glassy.

Rhyme's blue gaze bounced from the pale boy on the bed to the equally pale girl in the doorway. Subtly she nudged her brother towards the doorway, keeping her face totally blank as both Bitos vanished from the room.

Neku looked away, grey eyes filled with a forced blankness that indicated the turmoil behind them. Shiki's stance wavered, then she gave in to the calls of her heart and collapsed at the side of his bed, tears and words mingling in the sheets as she cried into his uninjured shoulder.

"Oh, Shiki... don't cry. Please don't cry. " His tone was soft- she relished the sound she thought she would never hear again. He scooted to the other side of the bed carefully, patting the now empty space beside him, all the while never letting his eyes leave her face.

She sniffed and slid on the bed to lay beside him, trying her best to force a smile and failing. At length she gave up and buried her face in his chest, trembling violently. "Thank you, Neku…for saving me. "

"Hey... don't worry about it, ok? Call it even. " He succeeded in smiling even as he felt his own resolve flutter like a feather caught in the wind.

Shiki let go of him after a few moments passed, and blinked as more tears rolled down her face. "I'm s-sorry... I just can't seem to stop. "

Gaze still held captive by the depth of her eyes, Neku gently wiped her cheeks. Three words...8 letters... that was all that held him back from kissing the only person he had ever wanted to be with- the thought of which had brought him back from the brink of death. A promise... a pledge... and the hardest thing in the world to say.

Joshua's words sounded suddenly in his mind. _"Yes, Neku, Life and Fate do suck. We always will hurt the ones we love... the ones we shouldn't hurt at all. And we always will know the right thing to do the moment it becomes too late. But that's why we have forgiveness and second chances. So we can correct our mistakes to the best that we can and never do them again. Have fun living, Neku, and don't let her slip away again. "_

_I've learned my lesson this time... life and love are always worth the pain._

Suddenly, Shiki felt herself pushed lightly on her back, then Neku's lips were pressed against hers, sending a thrill down her spine. She had thought the mild warmth she got from being around Satoshi was love- in comparison, the golden-eyed boys affections were cold and grey. Once, she may have wanted Satoshi... but she needed Neku.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, lips moving in perfect sync. Forgotten were the pain and suffering of only minutes before. They didn't matter. All that mattered now was that they we together.

Neku pulled away first, panting for breath- his eyes burning into hers. "I love you, " he breathed.

"I love you, too. "

Then he caught her lips in another rapturous kiss. She ran her fingers through his silky pumpkin-colored spikes, loosing herself in the moment and savoring the feeling of his warm body so close to hers.

At last, they paused for breath, Shiki sliding her hands down to his chest and Neku brushing the bangs gently out of her face, gazing at her lovingly with eyes that seemed just a tiny bit bluer.

It would take time, and the road before them was not smooth and clear… but the two broken hearts would mend.

"Thank _you_, Shiki... for saving _me_. "

...00000000000...


	7. Epilogue

A/N

A/N. Whoooooo. This little epilogue is dedicated to all my reviewers- you know who you are!!

...00000000000...

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Epilogue

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A couple days later, just outside the WildKat cafe, three figures sat at a table. The 13 year old girl nibbled lightly on a muffin as her older brother ploughed through the rest of the box. Their companion, a 16 year old girl with a plushie cat on her lap, was picking lightly at some ramen.

Her phone laying on the table beeped suddenly, and with lightning speed she reached for it. Beat, however, had beat her to it.

"It's from Neku. Let's see...

_Today's mission- Come to my apartment. You have 15 minutes. Fail and face this eraser._ "

Shiki snatched her phone from him and took off down the street, Mr. Mew tucked securely under her arm.

The blonde 16 year old watched her leave with one eyebrow raised. "...di' she just get a 'booty call' text? "

"BEAT! " Rhyme gasped, scandalized. "You know Saturdays are movie days. Mind out of the gutter. "

A new voice joined the conversation. "Seriously. "

Joshua had literally appeared in Shiki's chair, casually pouring salt on the left-behind ramen and munching away blissfully as if he _hadn't_ just materialized out of thin air. Both Bito's fairly jumped out of their skin. Rhyme, being the docile girl she was, recovered quickly- Beat's reaction was far more satisfying.

"_BWAAAAGHH!!_ What the hell, man? "

"You startled us, Joshua. Um... what are you doing here? "

"Eating. Is it so wrong to want food every once in a while? " Joshua jabbed at his noodles, a faint smirk still hovering around the corner of his mouth. "Actually, I came here to tell you all how our dear friend Satoshi is doing in the Game. "

"Spit it out, pretty boy. "

Joshua arched one eyebrow, looking decidedly pissed before sighing and ignoring Beat entirely to smirk at Rhyme. "She's having a rather rough time. "

"SHE?! "

Still ignoring Beat, he continued. "Guess what Shiki's ex valued most? Hee hee... "

Rhyme's face reddened slightly- the slightest thoughts not rated G did this to her. "Ohhhh. What did Satoshi ever do to you anyway? "

"It's simple, my dear. I have very few friends- anyone who upsets any of them gets the axe. On that subject, got anyone you need me to _'take care of'_? I assure you, I can get away with murder. " He smiled evilly; at any moment she would not have been surprised to see vampire fangs sprout from his gums.

"I'll pass, thanks. " Rhyme fidgeted slightly. Joshua shrugged, eyes flashing with minor disappointment. "If you say so. "

...00000000000...

Curled up on the couch with Shiki, Neku gave a sigh of bliss. _This is how it should have been years ag_o, he thought_. This feels right... complete._

The black-haired girl cuddled up closer to him, sighing in agreement as her thoughts mirrored his own._ It's been a long time coming, but I'm happy._

Neku wrapped his arm around Shiki tighter. _Thank you, Shiki. Because of you... I'm no longer alone._

...00000000000...

I know, it's short and oddly un-angstful, but.. everyone is happy now.

Except Satoshi. Not that anyone cares about him. Pfft. I don't, at least...

Well, I think all thee for reading my first WEWY fic EVAH. Hope to see you with more Neku/Shiki goodness!

...And ramen. Lots of ramen.


End file.
